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Cautionary tale for online course creators

By Alp | Email Marketing

​I was reading a site called fmylife and saw this: “Today, I walked out of my boyfriend’s house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighbourhood. FML” Tragicomic, isn’t it? Reminds me of something […]

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How to become a business “Wolverine” and recover from any marketing mishap (without permanent damage)

By Alp | Email Marketing

While watching the last X-Men movie last night, I thought about you and your online business. And perhaps you’ll find a useful marketing lesson here: After seeing the movie for the umpteenth time, I am convinced my mother stole Wolverine’s “healing factor”. A couple of weeks ago, I was in Izmir visiting family. Short version: The floor was wet, and […]

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Down the well to email hell

By Alp | Email Marketing

Just read the most disturbing urban legend ever. I was going to write about something else today, but this story is haunting me. Or at least: haunting my keyboard, because the email is pretty much writing itself with little input from me. What makes the story so creepy is that a variation of it actually happens in most […]

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Behold the dangers of picking up discarded emails off the street and serving them to your list

By Alp | Email Marketing

I witnessed something I was not supposed to see last night. My balcony looks onto the kitchen entrance of the best steakhouse in Istanbul. And they certainly are a media darling. You can’t pick up a newspaper without stumbling on yet another gushing review. The meat is great, the ambience authentic, the service impressive… blah blah blah. It’s like this […]

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Sanitizing maggot infested email lists

By Alp | Email Marketing

This is a public service announcement: Today’s marketing tip is gruesomely graphic. Viewer discretion is advised… and if you’re easily grossed out, then, well, you’ve been warned. Still here? OK, then here’s the story: Somewhere in Istanbul – oh, I don’t know, maybe within walking distance of my homequarters – is a flat. According to unverified (but accurate) rumours, this flat […]

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The world’s most loving hate mail?

By Alp | Email Marketing

The aforementioned oxymoron crashed into my inbox at 19:32 local time on 21.08.2017 and left a heart-shaped impact crater in its wake: ===== “I think it’s time to make this official. I hate you. My air conditioner burst into fire today. So, I had to buy a new one. And I have been having a similar run most […]

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Can’t judge an email by its guru

By Alp | Email Marketing

You know how they say you can’t judge a book by its cover? Well, the same is true of sales emails. Just because a “launch guru” wrote it doesn’t mean that it’s actually any good. In fact, sometimes these guru emails are so bad that someone should take them to court for marketing malpractice. Sure, if you have 1.5 […]

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