Untested template infects funnel, kills sales. - Trial and Eureka

Untested template infects funnel, kills sales.

By Alp | Email Marketing

Hands down the oddest thing I read this week:

“Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested.”

Can you imagine that?

But this sort of thing happens in copywriting all the time:

You get this email template from your favourite marketer. Great! It’s like a gift of chocolate cake.

Turns out… they cooked the template with “breast milk”.

Every single time I’ve used someone else’s email templates, I’ve had to get my funnels “tested”.

Sales grow anemic, and then I have to run a gamut of invasive tests to see what “infected” my funnel.

Usually, the infection can be traced back to “breast milk” in the template:

The template uses some “brain hack” of their own invention which is supposed to compel the fence-sitters to buy. Instead they are repulsed by it.

After having to put a few terminally ill funnels to rest, I resolved to bake my own templates.

Not with indigenous “breast milk”, but with stuff tested and shown to be “disease-free”.

I obsessively track my best performing emails, reverse-engineer them into templates, and try to isolate what really makes them work.

Then I publish 4 of these templates each month in the Email Reliquary (fyi, soon to be rebranded as Swipe, Send… Sold.)

It’s always gratifying to see that your recipe works even when you’re not the one baking:


“Being an Email Prodigy I didn't know if I needed to sign up for the membership program Email Reliquary too.

But I'm ecstatic that I did.

I just spent the last hour creating an email from the freshly baked NIKE TEMPLATE and my IQ level just jumped at least 10 points.

OMG. This is persuasion at it's finest. I swear, I hope I never see Alp in court.

This is the first time in my life I finally GET how to position myself against the competition. I've seen other people do it but I just didn’t understand how to replicate it.

But now I have a freaking template!

Paying $2.50 for this is just ridiculous.”


The secret to success?

NOT using untested “breast milk”.

Anyway, if you want four new email recipes each month that work especially well with smaller lists, then you can subscribe here: