Menu
Dec 11

What NOT to worry about in your marketing

By Alp | List-building

Worrying works – and I have proof:90% of the things you worry about never happens.Clearly, it’s an effective preventative. Except for this American woman I saw on TV:She met his Canadian friend at the airport. As they were driving to the city, she told him not to worry about all the American stereotypes and that […]

Continue reading
Dec 04

Flat-earthers who will never buy from you

By Alp | List-building

Not so long ago, I did something of questionable benevolence.I meticulously researched dating disasters in an effort to dissuade my best friend from making the mistake of his life and going out with a duplicitous serpent.One of the gems I came across in my “research” was this:“Today, I had a date with a girl. The […]

Continue reading
Nov 28

Marketers who can’t do basic math

By Alp | List-building

There are two types of funny:“Funny because it’s true” and “Funny because that almost never happens”.This tweet I saw today is a prime example of the former:“Today, I got a big math test back.Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught.Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5.I failed.”When I […]

Continue reading
Nov 20

Facepalm moments in life and market research

By Alp | List-building

Question: How many facepalm moments did I have in the following conversation?First, let me give you some context:Last week, I switched internet service providers. I asked H, who works for me, to return the modems and cancel the old subscription.H: Unfortunately, we can’t cancel over the phone. A: Who told you this?H: The postman.A: …H says, […]

Continue reading
Nov 14

This dumb Twitter genius.

By Alp | Email Marketing

​For someone who doesn’t actually have a Twitter account, I pull off some impressive stalking on Twitter.Look what I found today:“Couldn’t get a taxi home last night, so I went in kebab shop and ordered a delivery to my address and got in with delivery driver. I’m a genius.”My hat off to you, sir. My […]

Continue reading
Nov 11

The Adventures of Huckleberry Fan

By Alp | Email Marketing

“Young man!”No answer.“YOUNG MAN!”No answer.The old headmistress pulled her spectacles down and looked over them across the courtyard. Then she put them up and looked out under them.She seldom looked THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy. This was her state pair: it was built for admonishment, not for seeing through.She looked […]

Continue reading
Nov 07

Inbox conquered by aliens

By Alp | Email Marketing

I would have made a great First Contact Specialist.The Star Trek Federation should beam one of their better looking members back in time to recruit me.Even on Earth, I discover new species of human and make first contact. Just you imagine what I could do among the stars…For example, my most recent discovery is the Homo […]

Continue reading
1 2 3 9