Category Archives for "List-building"

​Want to know THE single most hilariously terrible first sentence in the English language? A few years ago, this was awarded the Bulwer-Lytton Prize for the dubious honour of the worst sentence in the history of fiction: “Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto […]

On a scale of 1 to -1, just how bad is this opening line:If, like me, you’re trying to suppress a chuckle (because NSFW), and you have a history of uncontrollably snorting, then QUICK! Do this: Stare up at your left eyebrow. . Hmm. Maybe that doesn’t actually work. #dont Anyway… It’s January, and my spidey senses tell me you’ve […]

Let’s face it: Nobody vaults out of bed singing like Mary Poppins about creating a lead magnet.(Created with Imgflip.com)It’s one of those things you know you need to do, but just can’t be bothered because it will take forever. Instead of slaving for weeks over your lead magnet and landing page… What if you could get everything done […]

Watch me take 10 random opt-in ideas from 10 industries, tear them down and build them back up so they convert at 50%+

And the Worst Customer Service of the Year award goes to… This locksmith. Look at one of his reviews: “I called this locksmith to unlock my car. He got it unlocked, but broke the handle so the door wouldn’t open. We had to break a window to get in. He still charged me his usual fee.” Before you laugh […]

This is so patently absurd it has to be true:  I read about this guy who came home to find that his roommate had picked his lock and stolen his new laptop. When he tried to take it back, his roommate called the police.  They sided with the roommate since she had also taken the […]

Five points to Gryffindor if you can figure out what this story has to do with the subject line before I tell you: I was shopping for some furniture the other day and suddenly I heard this earsplitting noise. The kind that immediately makes you think, “Is this an ISIS attack and where is the nearest […]

Worrying works – and I have proof: 90% of the things you worry about never happens. Clearly, it’s an effective preventative.  Except for this American woman I saw on TV: She met his Canadian friend at the airport. As they were driving to the city, she told him not to worry about all the American stereotypes and that […]

Not so long ago, I did something of questionable benevolence. I meticulously researched dating disasters in an effort to dissuade my best friend from making the mistake of his life and going out with a duplicitous serpent. One of the gems I came across in my “research” was this: “Today, I had a date with a girl. The […]

There are two types of funny: “Funny because it’s true” and “Funny because that almost never happens”. This tweet I saw today is a prime example of the former: “Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed.” When I […]