By Alp | Email Marketing
I don’t know if this is for real or somebody is pulling my leg: ===== “To: Alp Hi M, You were the one who told me about this guy, so maybe you get these emails. I liked this one in particular so I’m forwarding. D”===== Wait… did someone just forward my own email to me? At this point, I suspect it must […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
For someone who doesn’t actually have a Twitter account, I pull off some impressive stalking on Twitter. Look what I found today: “Couldn’t get a taxi home last night, so I went in kebab shop and ordered a delivery to my address and got in with delivery driver. I’m a genius.” My hat off to you, sir. My […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
An entrepreneur, a sales page and an email go to court. Buzz the Business Owner is suing Sally the Sales Page and Eddie the Email for marketing malpractice. “Your Honour, these two defrauded me,” Eddie says to the judge. “They promised me riches. They promised me fame. They promised me glory – if only I would invest […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
“Young man!” No answer. “YOUNG MAN!” No answer. The old headmistress pulled her spectacles down and looked over them across the courtyard. Then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom looked THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy. This was her state pair: it was built for admonishment, not for seeing through. She looked […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
Except it doesn’t. Because the literal moment you go to write, it’s like somebody ties your keyboard’s shoelaces together. The email trips and falls. For example, back in the Dark Ages when they were still building the Great Wall of China, I had this student. He said he has tons of ideas BEFORE sitting down to write, but […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
I would have made a great First Contact Specialist. The Star Trek Federation should beam one of their better looking members back in time to recruit me. Even on Earth, I discover new species of human and make first contact. Just you imagine what I could do among the stars… For example, my most recent discovery is the Homo […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
You’ve read one of those emails before, right? There’s a story… but it doesn’t really make you crave the product. You’re left wondering, “How does this relate to what you’re selling again?” Or they tell you a pretty good story… But the way they then transition from the storytelling to the selling seems awkward and forced. Or the […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
So a friend of mine did something really daft the other day. She purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on her windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that’s also where she has her alarm clock. Guess which one she grabbed in the morning… Shoot. Don’t we all hate it when we have to […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
Did you notice anything bizarre in the last 24 hours? I did. This story on a “news” site: (Yes, I waste time too. I’m not a robot.) “Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML” So odd. And disturbing. If you’ve been on this email list for… oh say, more than a week, you know I […]
By Alp | Email Marketing
Public Panic #1 when it comes to email marketing: “I haven’t written to my email list since, ummm, January? I feel like I need to send something explaining where I’ve been, and letting them know that I’m going to be emailing a lot more often. Agree or disagree?” You’re probably thinking, “Boy can I relate to this!” Confess: When […]